is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
