i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
