you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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