Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
