i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
