My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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