I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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