i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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