Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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