he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
