Pregnant stripper...not hot.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
