this boner is exhausting
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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