his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
