TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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