my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
