I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
