I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
