those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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