I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
