Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
