I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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