In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
