Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
