I think I died a long time ago.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
