Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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