I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
