I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
