i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Randomize
