There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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