Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
