took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
