It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
