she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
