Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
