She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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