that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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