ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
