The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
