I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
