he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize