google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
