he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
