like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's like heaven, but drunker
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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