New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
