What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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