Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
