Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize