I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
