This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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