If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
