I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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