honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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