Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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