yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.