Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1394) Bad night (2101)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro
  Replies (23) Good night (776) Bad night (4561)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour. http://tfl.nu/8whx
  Replies (16) Good night (4609) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night http://tfl.nu/q31t
  Replies (23) Good night (3811) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance http://tfl.nu/wpko
  Replies (10) Good night (6442) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1
  Replies (34) Good night (6052) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex http://tfl.nu/eh60
  Replies (16) Good night (5745) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house. http://tfl.nu/rb9c
  Replies (3) Good night (2469) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh
  Replies (13) Good night (1212) Bad night (3493)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2405) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast http://tfl.nu/pow4
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding? http://tfl.nu/hdxw
  Replies (4) Good night (1285) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls... http://tfl.nu/dtir
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again http://tfl.nu/wlsy
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest. http://tfl.nu/byar
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (352)

Randomize