I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
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