I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!