and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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