If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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