so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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