Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Even my vagina gasped.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
