im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
