omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
