i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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