We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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