i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
