You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
