It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize