Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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